Reader Question: Zombie Tacos

Elan asks:

If a zombie had a taco, and then I killed it, so it dropped the taco – could I eat it?

First of all, this is sort of a moot point, since zombies really have no interest in picking up anything except pieces of you. I guess they might pick up a taco with human remains splashed on it, but then I don’t think you’d be interested in going after it.

Let’s suspend disbelief though, as usual, and assume a zombie has come to hold a taco. Maybe it was a piece of debris he picked up trying to get to someone’s eyes or ankles. Let’s also assume that this scenario comes in the midst of the zombocalypse so that food has become scarce and our loyal reader is really jonesing for a taco.

Look, dude. You really don’t want to eat this taco. Considering the tendency of zombies to drip everywhere they go, I think the chances are pretty high that there are some zombie juices marinating in that salsa. On the other hand, this has a lot to do with a controversy I’ve been wanting to address – can you get infected by ingesting zombie parts, or do you have to be bitten? If the chances are low of transmitting the virus, you might be better off going with the taco than inevitable starvation.

The way I see it, the zombie virus – remember, my working theory is Solanum – is most comparable to something like HIV or snake venom. Both of these can be transmitted through bodily fluids or bites, but the risk of infection decreases exponentially when ingested. Technically, the only way you would be at risk is if something along the way of your digestive system had a cut leading to your nervous system – which, let’s face it, your insides will be all kinds of fucked up come the terrors of the zombocalypse. Right, so don’t eat that taco unless you’re about to die of starvation.

My only hesitation in comparing the zombie virus to these two is that being exposed to HIV or snake venom does not guarantee serious infection. If a zombie bites you, on the other hand, you’re done for. No exceptions. This is something we’ll have to continue to explore. Like this guy: